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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27125234">답답해</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/weixianxian/pseuds/weixianxian'>weixianxian</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Monsta X (Band), 몬스타엑스 - Fandom</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>AU, Abusive Relationships, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Drama :D, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, F/M, M/M, Minor Chae Hyungwon/Lee Hoseok | Wonho, Minor Im Changkyun | I.M/Lee Jooheon, Not Physically Abusive, You Will Hate Kihyun's Girlfriend but that's the point, i don't know what to tag</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 06:22:39</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>8,844</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27125234</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/weixianxian/pseuds/weixianxian</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Yoo Kihyun is a successful poet. Who's poetry is written based on photos he's taken and are featured in his books.<br/>He's in a long term relationship with Min Ji Hyun who's looks could rival any cover girl's.<br/>HIs life is one to be envied. At least that's how it appears.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Im Changkyun | I.M/Lee Jooheon, Son Hyunwoo | Shownu/Yoo Kihyun, Yoo Kihyun/Original Character(s)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>37</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter One</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>CHAPTER ONE</b>
</p><p> </p><p>GOOGLE SEARCH</p><p>How to tell….</p><p>How do I know if…</p><p>Signs of an Abu…</p><p>Can women be abusive…</p><p>GOOGLE SEARCH: Signs of an abusive relationship.</p><p>Results page &lt; 1……..10  &gt;</p><p>
  <b>The 4 stages of an abusive relationship</b>
</p><p>  <span class="u"><br/>
<b>CYCLE OF ABUSE</b><br/>
</span></p><p>  <span class="u"><br/>
<b>HOW to tell if you’re in an emotionally abusive relationship</b><br/>
</span></p><p>  <span class="u"><br/>
<b>The progression of violence &amp; Tactics of control</b></span></p><p>
  <span class="u"></span>
</p><p> </p><p>““CLICK””</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>How To Tell If You’re In An Emotionally Abusive Relationship</b>
</p><p>‘Oftentimes, people in emotionally abusive relationships don’t understand that they are being abused because there’s no violence involved. Many will dismiss or downplay emotional abuse because they don’t think it’s as bad as physical abuse, but this is a mistake. Emotional abuse has major consequences and it’s often hard to recognize. This form of abuse deteriorates a person’s self-esteem, independence, and dignity. Not only is it serious because it affects a person’s well-being and could turn fatal, but also because the person has been brainwashed to think that the behaviors are normal aspects of a relationship….’</p><p> </p><p>“Kihyun what are you doing”</p><p> </p><p>““Click””</p><p> </p><p>“Nothing new. Editing… trying to figure out the Photoshop update.” Lying was easier without eye contact so Kihyun kept his gazed fixed forward.</p><p> </p><p>Her heels clicked echoing, overwhelming the whole space falling in time with the rush of his pulse as Min Ji Hyun approached.</p><p> </p><p>“You’re so diligent.. you hardly leave anytime for us. I made reservations for tonight.” She stood close looming eyes scanning the computer screen hands resting on tensed shoulders slowly sliding to feel a rattled heart beat. “I’d like to think you’re just happy to be near me.” She pulled away turning to leave. He still couldn’t breath his, heart began to beat faster.</p><p> </p><p>“I can’t tonight. Its Minhyuk’s birthday. You know this.” Kihyun has not moved gaze still fixed like a scared animal. The words slipped out without his brain giving his mouth the signal to do so.</p><p> </p><p>“I remember dear. I just never said you’d go. Do be late tardiness is unbecoming.” The door shut, silence ensued.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>________________________________________________</p><p> </p><p>“Hey Ki! I’m glad you called. I made the reservations but I forgot to give you the address. I'll text it to you.”</p><p> </p><p>“Minhyuk.” He cut him off before he could begin again.</p><p> </p><p>“Yes what’s up?” </p><p> </p><p>“I know I said I’d go.” Worrying his lower lips was becoming habit. “Minhyuk I’m sorry but I can’t” Kihyun hung up before more could be said. It was exhausting and he owed his publisher the first draft at the end of the month.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>““CLICK””</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>How To Tell If You’re In An Emotionally Abusive Relationship</b>
</p><p>‘Oftentimes, people in emotionally abusive relationships don’t understand that they are being abused because there’s no violence involved.’</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>There was never violence…</em>

</p><p> </p><p>‘…abuse deteriorates a person’s self-esteem, independence, and dignity.’</p><p>
  <em>… am I there yet?</em>

</p><p> </p><p>Kihyun laughed at himself the fact he thought yet was a proof enough. He was there. Had been there for months. And he was falling further. He was a weak moth caught in her web of lies and deceit and now that he’s been made aware she’s already sunk her teeth in and her poison is thriving in his blood stream.</p><p> </p><p>He kept reading, his stomach twisting. Tears fell as his chest began to ache and try as he might he could not look away from the words that were tearing his world apart.</p><p> </p><p>________________________________________________</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Minhyuk slammed his phone causing Changkyun to flinch.</p><p> </p><p>“Hyung?”</p><p> </p><p>“Its nothing. He’s not coming.” Minhyuk spoke through gritted teeth.</p><p> </p><p>“Again, he’s canceled on us twice in the last few weeks. It's not like him Hyung. Im getting worried.”</p><p> </p><p>“Don't be. He’s too busy with is perfect life. It's what he’s always wanted. A book deal, hisphotography, a girlfriend who looks like she walked off a fucking runway. Kihyun doesn’t need leeches from his past.” His patience and understanding, which was wearing thin these past few weeks, has finally snapped.</p><p> </p><p>Changkyun pouted his lower lip. “I’m going to call him. This isn’t like him Hyung… Its not. Somethings off.”</p><p> </p><p>Scoffing Minhyuk grabbed his phone and walked off with his hands clenched.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Rolling his eyes he swiped for Kihyun’s contact.</p><p> </p><p>““CALL””</p><p> </p><p>________________________________________________</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The phone rang. Ringing penetrated through his whole body. It Echoed in his chest up his throat and into his head.Tears welled in his eyes streaming across pale cheeks; mucus ran down his throat, the feeling akin to acid. The realizations made, the acknowledgments given; robbed the ability to breathe just like it robbed away the daylight.</p><p> </p><p>Kihyun woke up on the floor a cold sweat clinging to his skin. Confusion turns to fear. He moves quickly grabbing his phone and clearing the computer search history. Kihyun is still shaky none of his steps are calculated but he has to be sure she doesn’t know. He has no idea how long he’s been out and fear is over riding his logic. The living room, dinning area and kitchen are clear of all signs of life. He was in the study… she could be in the bedroom or loft or possibly… hopefully not here at all.</p><p>As he peaks into the loft the way a child would afraid of monsters. Some sense of relief washes over him when its confirmed to be empty.</p><p>His bedroom is the last place. Holding what little breathe he has he turns the knob allowing the door to freely swing open.</p><p>Nothing. Theres no one. Only him he walks in and slams the door.</p><p>A pathetic breath escapes him as he collapses against the bedroom door slowly sinking to the ground. His phone shows <em>13 missed calls from Changkyun 8 texts</em>. 2 missed calls from Minhyuk and one text “<em>Forget it, you’re not worth it.”</em></p><p> </p><p>The words resonate, swirl around his head: brand themselves into his memory.</p><p>Kihyun rakes his hand across his face and into his hair, he pulls tightly.</p><p>Dragging himself off the ground he walks to the closet picking clothes for the wrong occasion.</p><p>Tonight was for Minhyuk was about Minhyuk and now its about her.</p><p>She has made it about her.</p><p>Again.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>________________________________________________</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Kihyun moves on autopilot. At some point his phone rings but the worry of it being her keeps him from checking. Ji Hyun had her driver pick him up, his eyes are glassy and he pays no attention to where he’s being taken. <em>Minhyuk I’m so so sorry. </em>He types then erases.<em> I love you, you’re my best friend, it wasn’t my decision. </em>Kihyun never hits send, his door is opened the vehicle has stopped. “Sir you’ve arrived” the driver politely informs.</p><p> </p><p>The host leads him to the table.</p><p> </p><p>“You wore glasses?” Bitter like the wine she enjoys, eyes predatory.</p><p> </p><p>“The Contacts were drying out my eyes…” He sits.</p><p> </p><p>“So,” laughing harshly “you look awful with glasses. They make your face fat. You can’t pull off things like that Kihyunnie.” She smiles sweetly. “Thats why I tell you what to wear, how can I be seen with you like this? It’s cruel to me. Why are you so cruel to me? Do you enjoy me being laughed at?” She pouted but the edges he lips pulled up to a devilish grin as she saw tears form in tired eyes. </p><p> </p><p>“No, I’m sorry.” His voice came out meek.</p><p> </p><p>“I forgive you because I love you.” Ji Hyun reaches for his hand and gives a squeeze.</p><p> </p><p>“Madam, Sir. What would you like this evening?”</p><p> </p><p>“One bottle of Weingut Wieninger Tribute Chardonnay.” Her eyes glance over the menu to Kihyun her grin has returned. “He’ll have the Salmon and I’ll have the Hamachi.” Smile in place she spares no glance to the waiter and he utters a ‘Yes ma’am I’ll have it out right away.’</p><p> </p><p>Kihyun gulps. He hates salmon.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>________________________________________________</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Changkyun convinces Minhyuk to allow Jooheon to invite his friend who as he describes is more like a brother. Minhyuk waves his hand which is as good as a yes he can get.</p><p> </p><p>Changkyun calls Jooheon immediately, “Honey he said yes!”</p><p> </p><p>“Are you sure? This place is pretty high end…”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah its all good. One reason he’s so peeved at Kihyun is cause he already paid in advance for all the entrees. So there’s a spot to be filled and food to be eaten.”</p><p> </p><p>“Well ok… that’s good then.”</p><p> </p><p>“He doesn’t mind seafood right?”</p><p>
  
</p><p>“Who?”</p><p> </p><p>“What do you mean who?” He chuckles. “Hyunwoo hyung. Minhyuk chose a restaurant who's specialty is seafood.”</p><p>“Oh oh haha no he’ll be fine. Hyung will eat anything he’s not picky at all.”</p><p> </p><p>“Mm ok, I'll see you tonight.”</p><p> </p><p>He hung up and walked to Minhyuk’s room. “Honey is bringing his friend. He’s not picky like Ki so seafood is good.”</p><p> </p><p>“Kihyun wasn’t going to have to eat seafood,” The intonation on eat seafood driven home by his harsh movements to button his shirt, “I specially ordered steak for him. And he’s so kindly decided not to show. The day of. Asshole.”</p><p> </p><p>Changkyun cannot recall ever frowning this much in the presence of his hyung. “Oh. Well Hyunwoo isn’t picky so he won’t care.”</p><p> </p><p>“Mm.” Minhyuk smiles stiffly “Lets not talk about it anymore.”</p><p> </p><p>“Right. I texted Hoseok the address and of course Jooheon.”</p><p> </p><p>“Cool.” Changkyun could hear the sadness in his voice. It was hard not to. Kihyun and Him had been friends for so long. Longest out of all of them.</p><p> </p><p>He opened his mouth to say something but he new it was best to just leave it be.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Please hyung answer, I know there’s a reason. Please Kihyun.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>RING RING RING <em>“Hi you’ve reached Yoo Kihyun, sorry I can’t come to the phone right now. I will get back to you as soon as I can. If this pertains to busin”—</em></p><p> </p><p>Changkyun sighed. He decided to freshen up. The reservation was nearing.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>________________________________________________</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“You know I hate salmon.” Kihyun’s posture has become more and more defeated.</p><p> </p><p>“Yes I’m well aware of how childish your palette is, but it's better than steak when trying to lose weight. On top of that I also know you probably won’t eat it which is even better. You’ve gained too much weight. Skipping a meal or two would do you some good.”</p><p> </p><p>Kihyun sipped his water and bit the inside of his cheek drawing blood.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>________________________________________________</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Whoa Hyung this is the nicest place I’ve ever been to!!” Jooheon and Changkyun exclaimed in unison not too loudly. Managing to lighten Minhyuk’s mood considerably.</p><p> </p><p>“Ah yeah.”</p><p> </p><p>“Hyung this is Jooheon, who you’ve met once before and this is Hyunwoo Hyung.”</p><p> </p><p>“Hi Jooheon, it’s nice to see you again. Hope you’ve been well. Hyunwoo thank you for coming on such short notice I hope it wasn’t a bother. It's very nice to meet you.”</p><p> </p><p>Hyunwoo shook Minhyuk’s hand firmly. “Its good to meet you. No trouble at all. I feel like I’m the one imposing on you.”</p><p> </p><p>“Not at all. We had.. erm a last minute cancelation so this is perfect actually.” Minhyuk’s smile was genuine but it did not reach his eyes.</p><p> </p><p>“Thank you again. Happy birthday.” Hyunwoo handed him a small gift bad, his smile kind yet awkward.</p><p> </p><p>“You didn’t have to but thank you. We should head in, Hoseok texted me he’s down the street so he’ll meet us at the table.”</p><p> </p><p>They mood light the group walks in to enjoy the evening.</p><p> </p><p>The table is nice. Positioned perfectly near a window. They’ll get to see the sunset but not be blinded in the process. Two bottles of wine were already brought to the table.</p><p> </p><p>Hoseok was guided to the table and greeted everyone warmly. He explained how he’d met Hyunwoo before through work and they’d since kept in touch.</p><p> </p><p>“Where’s Kihyun?” The question was harmless, but Minhyuk got up and excused himself to the restroom.</p><p>Hyunwoo was throughly confused. Changkyun sighed, “He canceled about three hours before… so hyung is um, tense.”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh I see.” Hoseok cleared his throat. “Ah Hyungwon texted me he’s gonna call in about an hour or so, once his shoot ends. He still feels guilty for not being here.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>________________________________________________</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Kihyun who’s long since lost his appetite excuses himself from the table.</p><p> </p><p>He hides in the stall contemplating texting Minhyuk, but decides against it as to not spoil his night. Instead he texts Hoseok to give Hyuk his love and wish him happiness on his behalf.</p><p>Hoseok responds immediately saying of course and that he’s just arrived at the restaurant, ‘<em>where are you Ki?’</em></p><p>Kihyun ignores it, deciding it’s time to stop hiding.</p><p> </p><p>He’s hit with some pathetic sense of inspiration so he typed it out in his notes. He heard the door open signaling the presence of another patron. He hastily wipes his tears on his sleeve. In the hopes of looking somewhat proper and put together.</p><p> </p><p>He opened the stall door and he was met face to face with the last person he expected to see tonight who happens to be the only person he wanted to see tonight.</p><p> </p><p>Kihyun’s eyes widen, “Minhyuk..”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter Two</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>He opened the stall door and he was met face to face with the last person he expected to see tonight who happens to be the only person he wanted to see tonight.</p><p>Kihyun’s eyes widen, “Minhyuk..”</p><p>Minhyuk’s eyes are as wide as Kihyun’s and cannot quite comprehend what he’s seeing. As comprehension kicks in, Minhyuk sees red.</p><p>Kihyun is frozen. For what feels like the hundredth time he’s crying again. </p><p>“You’re crying?!” Minhyuk laughs with disbelief, “You’re unbelievable. What embarrassed you got caught?” </p><p>Kihyun attempts to speak but his voice won’t allow him and Minhyuk in his blind anger and hurt cuts off whatever was trying to come out. “Don’t even. I— no you’re not even worth it.” </p><p>Minhyuk is gone. </p><p>Kihyun runs out after him and heads straight for the exit. <br/>Hailing a cab in record time. Praying to whoever will listen to give him the strength to keep from falling apart before the eyes of a stranger.</p><p><br/>Minhyuk returns to the table with a fake happiness. They all talk share embarrassing stories from past celebrations. Hyunwoo falls into place with them. <br/>Dinner is served various seafood dishes and amongst them, one plate with steak. It sticks out like a sore thumb… what a metaphor Changkyun can’t help but think.</p><p>“Hyungwon’s calling!” Hoseok announces.</p><p>“Hyung!!! Happy Birthday~~~” His smile is wide. “I’m really sorry I couldn’t be there, I promise I’ll make it up to you.”</p><p>“Its no big deal. How did the shoot go? Your makeup looks good.”</p><p>“Don’t say that. It was good, today was the last full day. Which is fine with me, I’m exhausted. Ready to go back home, but the hotel will do for now.”</p><p>“Thats good to hear.”</p><p><br/>Unfortunately Hyungwon is not physically present and cannot read the room. “Where’s Kihyun? He has my gift for you.”</p><p>The table goes silent and Jooheon winces, feeling bad for the situation he’s brought Hyunwoo into. </p><p>“He’s…” Changkyun starts. “Not going to be around much anymore.” Minhyuk finishes. </p><p>Hyungwon is about to question but Minhyuk is quick to draw and changes the subject to Hyunwoo. Telling Hyungwon about how he’s friends with Hoseok and Jooheon. “He’s an art Curator oddly enough.. though he looks like a guard for high end exhibits.” <br/>Hyunwoo smiles and begins talking with Hyungwon.<br/>Minhyuk spaces out wishing for the night to come to an end.</p><p><br/>Kihyun locks the door.<br/>His phone buzzes for the umpteenth time and at this point he thinks everyone of his friends must hate him. He decides to leave it on the kitchen counter.<br/>Shuffling to his room he recalls how much he misses his cat. One of the major things Ji Hyun altered in his life aside from he himself, but that is a much more recent revelation that he has not the energy to dissect.</p><p>By now he thought he’d have cried but everything feels like a haze. Once he’s changed Kihyun wraps himself deep into the duvet. He does not fight as sleep takes him. </p><p><br/>Morning comes and goes.<br/>Afternoon follows and then evening arrives. Kihyun has not moved from his place in bed. The uncertainty of the world around him... his world, unnerves him and is keeping him hostage in the sanctity of his room. <br/><em>I’m being ridiculous... I could at least finish my work. Nothing personal. Business email only. Ji Hyun knows my business email. So does Hyuk. </em><br/>“Kihyun grow up...”</p><p>The hard wood is cold and the tile in the kitchen even colder. The phone lays heavy on the counter. It’s silence deafening. <br/>Now or now Kihyun. <br/>If never were made an option, never would be the one chosen.<br/>Kihyun’s hand strikes like a snake. <br/>Once in his grasp he turns it on. <br/>Amongst all notifications weary eyes settle; Changkyun has called twice and left one new text message:<em> 'Hyung I’m not mad, please just talk to me.'</em> </p><p>““CALL””</p><p>RI- <em>“Hyung! You called. Are you okay?”</em></p><p>“I... I’m good. I’m fine.” Its one of the most transparent lies of his life. The odds of Changkyun believing him were equivalent to a snowball's chance in hell. <em>Maybe hell was experiencing global warming.</em></p><p><em>“Kihyun what’s going on? You’re not yourself. It’s worrying me. I know you’re busy but this is different than when you’re preparing a release.”</em> He pauses for a moment. <em>“You’re different.”</em></p><p><em>No global warming only merciless flames.</em> “Nothing is going on. I have a draft due at the end of the month is all. I’m busy.” <em>Biting nails is new</em>, Kihyun thinks as he realizes he’s filing down his thumb nail. </p><p>
  <em>“Too busy for yesterday... I don’t believe you. Please don’t lie to me.”</em>
</p><p>“Changkyun it’s not so simple” <em>It really isn’t. You wouldn’t understand because how could you when I can’t. I don’t even know what to do. The last thing I need is judgement.</em> “I’ve got to go.” </p><p><em>“No Ki-“</em> Click.</p><p>The study is cozy. While the rest of the flat is modern with its cool grey tones, the study has wood paneling, wood flooring, a burnt orange rug, low sitting couch, book shelves and a desk. It’s perfect in every sense of the word in its owner’s opinion. <br/>Kihyun taps the mouse rousing the computer from its slumber. </p><p>Files &gt; Recent &gt; 답답해 </p><p>‘They say you can go back to the start <br/>To try it all again <br/>But I think we’ve reached the end</p><p>The roads don’t seem so clear <br/>Yet I somehow still wish for you to be near <br/>I know this is the end</p><p>You said you’d always be around <br/>You said you’d never let me down <br/>Look where we are now<br/>Standing toe to toe never have we been so far apart</p><p>Fool I am looking to see if we can restart ‘</p><p>Kihyun pasted what he had written in his notes the night before... it was good but in his opinion felt unfinished. <em>Seunghyun will likely provide some insight.</em> <br/>“Curtsey copy. . . B. Seunghyun at Illy Publishing. . .” He muttered as he typed. ‘Seunghyun-ssi, I've added one more poem. No photo yet. I'll send one as soon as I decide. I’m not sure it’ll work. Let me know what you think.  As we discussed the other night, I think we should proceed. I’m content with this release to be a part 1. Page count is good at 123 or so: the title will be 답답해, no translation. I’m going to take a week to myself, I’ll get back in touch before the end of the month. <br/>- Y. Kihyun’ <br/>Proof reading it in his head Kihyun eyes lingered on one word, <em>답답해</em>.  His stomach groaned this time not from anguish only hunger. A relief to Kihyun who can’t recall feeling such a normal emotion. <br/>The relief was short lived. On the living room sofa sat Min Ji Hyun. Placed ever so delicately looking like a still from a magazine. <br/>She flipped her hair over her shoulder. Its blonde now Kihyun realizes. <em>She looks good, it suits her.</em> Giving compliments when all he can get is criticism. <br/>She turns to him. She looks the way he remembers her when they’d first become official, soft kind and inviting. Everything he had wanted but didn’t think he was good enough to get. <br/>“Are you hungry?” Ji Hyun’s voice is warm and safe. <br/>Kihyun nods. Conflicting feelings choke him keeping him mute. <br/>“Excellent I called in your favorite!” A bright blinding smile, “Why are you just standing there?” Pouted lips making her appear cute and innocent, “Come here.” Beckoning arms open wide offering the comfort Kihyun longs for. He caves because he’s overwhelmed and he can’t think. He cries and she soothes him running thin fingers trough soft sleep tangled hair. Her eyes lit, and lips curved in malicious pleasure. <em>This is right where you belong Yoo Kihyun. You’re mine. </em></p><p> </p><p>“I don’t know Honey... this whole thing is troubling.” Changkyun takes a poke at the cake split between the two of them. “I’ve said this so many times but genuinely Kihyun isn’t like this.” </p><p>“I believe you. Not even having met him, knowing you is enough to know that he’s a good person.” </p><p>“What makes you say that?” </p><p>“You’re a good person and a good judge of character. I know you don’t take shit from people.” Jooheon’s lips lift upward. The way his dimple crinkles catches Changkyun off guard and he clears his throat looking away. Jooheon misreads this, “No it’s not a bad thing! It’s admirable, you don’t deserve to be pushed around. Neither do your friends. You don’t take shit, it’s a compliment!” </p><p>“Ah yes...” shyly he continues, “Thank you. They’re your friends too now. You’ve met them all, they like you a great deal. Hoseok told me to invite you to Hyungwon’s welcome back dinner.”</p><p>“I’ll be there.”<em> All but one.</em> “Why don’t you invite him somewhere. Kihyun I mean. Hyung works at the MET. I can pull some strings with his help and get Kihyun VIP treatment~~” </p><p>“Yes! That’s perfect! Honey you’re a genius!! Are you sure Hyunwoo hyung won’t mind?”</p><p>“Nope his work load has slowed since they’re in the middle of the current exhibit. Timing is pretty perfect.” </p><p>“Do you think maybe you could ask him now...” Changkyun ate the piece he was previously toying with, hoping not to sound too pushy.</p><p>Jooheon nodded already going to the contact. It was likely that Hyunwoo wouldn’t answer since it was a weekday and if he were in the archives reception wasn't even a thing down there. <br/>The <em>“Hello.”</em> was a welcomed surprise.<br/>Jooheon wasted no time, “Hyung I have a favor to ask. I was wondering if it’d be possible for you to show Kihyun around the gallery.”</p><p>
  <em>“Kihyun? Changkyun’s friend. The one who didn’t show for dinner last night?”</em>
</p><p>“Yes um... that’s the one. Kyun is worried about him and hearing what he’s said I am too. So I think this would help.” Changkyun held out his hand asking for the phone, Jooheon passed it to him. </p><p>“Hyung this is Changkyun. I’m sorry to impose but please let this happen. I figure you’re opinion of him isn’t great given how you were introduced so to speak but he’s a level headed, kind, giving person. I think he just needs... ah I don’t know, he needs something. Art speaks as I’m sure you’re well aware, Kihyun needs to speak but I just don’t think it’s with us... none of that probably made any sense.” Changkyun was ready to plead to the man. He was nearing his wits end, things were falling apart and it all began this year. </p><p><em>“It made perfect sense. Next Wednesday will work. If you can arrange it.”</em> Hyunwoo understood better than most. </p><p>“Next Wednesday,” Changkyun made eye contact with Jooheon they shared solace. “what time?”</p><p>
  <em>“Tell him 5:20. I’ll have Jooheon give you my number to give to him.”</em>
</p><p>“Ok.” The next sentence was spoken with immense sincerity. “Hyung. I’m truly so grateful to you. I simply lack the vocabulary to express it.” It was true Changkyun though well-readfelt his vocabulary was inadequate to express the gratitude he felt, he's not even entirely sure there's a was to put it to words.</p><p><em>“There’s no need to thank me.”</em> There was a tenderness to his voice that put Changkyun’s nerves at ease. </p><p>“I’ll let you speak to Honey.” The call was wrapped up with more words of gratitude.</p><p>“I sent you his number. Hope Kihyun finds... the something.”</p><p>His phone buzzed, contact lighting up his screen. <em>I hope so too.</em> He forwarded the message.<em> Yoo Kihyun you better not ignore this.</em></p><p><br/>Dinner was nice. She was nice.<br/>Kihyun in the moment was a fool. In this moment it was easy to ignore the reality of their relationship and how fucked up it was. So ignore he did, they had eaten but he subconsciously made himself eat less. He was tired and wanted to be alone yet he stayed up, made Ji Hyun happy and watched a film while rubbing her shoulder as requested. Until he couldn’t keep his eyes open any longer. As luck would have it Ji Hyun herself yawned. “Well I’ll be leaving. I’ve somethings I need to take care of tomorrow and lunch with my parents.” She turned ending her sentence with a kiss against still lips. The kiss was returned poorly, Kihyun was able to place blame upon exhaustion to which Ji Hyun did not question.<br/>“I’ll walk you out.” He stood helping her up off the couch. Being the gentleman he is, Kihyun aids her in putting on her coat and warps her scarf delicately upon her. He ends his tasks wordlessly, gently he kisses her lips, an actual kiss. One they hadn’t shared in quite awhile. He’s caught up completely in her until he isn’t. A vibration from the phone in his pocket breaks the spell, Kihyun pulls away. <br/>“I’ll be busy tomorrow. I’m thinking of going back to Seoul for a week.” <br/>“That’s unexpected.” It was, in truth Kihyun to Ji Hyun was easy to predict. And this, well this was quite unpredictable. <br/>He runs a hand through his hair then opens her car door. “Not set in stone. It’s up in the air. I haven’t even told my parents. I’ll call you tomorrow. Text me when you get home.” <br/>Ji Hyun gets in humming in agreement to his words. He leans in placing a chaste kiss to her forehead, “Drive safe.” <br/>Her door closes engine brought to life and she’s gone. A weight lifts. <br/>Once back inside he checks his phone. <br/>“Who’s ‘Sohn Hyunwoo’?“ Kihyun narrows his eyes at the text. Confusion wracked his brain. To the best of his knowledge he’d never met a Sohn Hyunwoo. He’s almost sure he’s never heard Kyun mention one either. <br/>Being the poet he was he sent an ever expressive ‘???’ <br/>Changkyun, expectedly replied immediately. <em>‘Just text him. Trust me ;)’ </em><br/><em>Ok.</em> That lead to nothing. Kihyun caves, curiosity killed they cat, as they say. Little do most know the full saying- curiosity killed the cat but satisfaction brought it back. </p><p>‘Sohn Hyunwoo, this is Yoo Kihyun. Im Changkyun sent my your contact thought I’m not sure why. If you’d kindly inform me I’d much appreciate it. :)’<br/>Kihyun analyzed the text. It was quite formal but the smile softened it, but maybe he shouldn’t put that. Though he didn’t want to come across standoffish yet they were strangers. His mind ran circles around itself until he lost track of his last thought. <em>Fuck it I’m friendly.</em> He hit send. <br/>Changkyun was expected to reply immediately however due to the fact he’s never spoken to or texted with Sohn Hyunwoo Kihyun has no clue when to expect a reply that will appease his curiosity. So he opts for a shower over staring at his phone waiting for an answer. <br/>A whole ten step skin care routine later Kihyun is seated on his bed back supported by pillows, he plugs in his phone and as it buzzes notifying it’s charging he sees the notification. <br/><em>‘Kihyun-ssi this is Hyunwoo. I work at the MET Gallery. Changkyun is acquainted with me via Jooheon. I was told you’re well acquainted with art. I’m inviting you to come see the gallery on Wednesday.’</em><br/>The <em>‘this is Hyunwoo’</em> made Kihyun laugh. <em>Ah Jooheon</em>, Changkyun’s not boyfriend boyfriend. Kihyun tried to imagine what Sohn Hyunwoo looked like. He worked at the MET, but in what way was a mystery. He’s most definitely older than myself. But how old. White hair old. No he’s friends? with Jooheon. Jooheon took an art course though so this could be his professor. <br/>‘Kihyun is fine. I appreciate your invite.’<br/>He’s as tempted to deny as he id to accept. He doesn’t know this man and although he’s not in fear for his safety he is in fear of the fact Changkyun has over stepped and is burdening this poor man. ‘However I’m sorry to say I’ll be busy Wednesday morning.’<br/>He can always go to the MET on his own dime and time. <br/><em>‘I didn’t say morning Kihyun. Wednesday at 5:20pm. I hope you come.’</em><br/>The feeling that rushes through Kihyun as he reads the text is unexplainable. It’s an electric buzz traveling from the tips of his fingers to the tops of his toes. <em>‘I didn’t say morning Kihyun... I hope you come.’</em> He reads this re reads it and then reads it again. <br/>‘Ok Hyunwoo. 5:20pm Wednesday.’</p><p><br/>Thursday morning was cold. Kihyun rose from bed with a newfound energy. Coffee for breakfast, he got to work, emails, phone conference, then more emails. It was mutually decided by his PR team and himself to have a book signing for the first few months of release, both across North America and Korea. Later in Europe and South America where release would be delayed some. <br/>The soon to be packed schedule excited Kihyun, his passion reigniting. He much preferred not having too much time to himself. Flying across country to new cites getting to meet the people who made his career possible, it was an incomparable experience. With travel also brought the opportunity to photograph new undiscovered places (by himself that is). </p><p>Kihyun brought out his phone. He hesitated but it was time.<br/>It was nearing the last ring but they answered, "Minhyuk we need to talk."</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>if text is italicized its the character's thoughts,  if its italicized but with comma its either text message or phone conversation (the one being called i.e Hyunwoo lines when JooHeon calls him.) I hope you all enjoy! If for some reason you read Areum and not Ji Hyun the was a brief period in which I had thought to change Ji Hyun's name but decided against it. I appreciate all feedback. Things will begin to get more um interesting. Also any of Kihyun's poetry is an original written by myself so there will never be a credit.  ^^ please do ignore any spelling or grammar errors. Thank you<br/>- S.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter Three</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">‘Minhyuk we need to talk” Kihyun’s eyes drift to the ottoman under the window, two gift bags sit atop it. One from Hyungwon the other he himself.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">There was no sounds from the other end of the line, Kihyun thought if he strained his hearing there was the faint sound of unsteady breathing. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Don’t hang up. I need you to listen. Promise you won’t hang up.” It was Kihyun’s turn to hold his breath. Minhyuk had always had a temper. He did not hold grudges perse but he did not forgive without reason and he most definitely did not forget. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2">
  <em>
    <span class="s2">“I’m listening, but you know I don’t make empty promises.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p class="p2">That stung immediately. Empty promises. Kihyun had made his fair share in the past year. Minhyuk unfortunately was the main victim of those hallowed words.</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I’m sorry,” a single phrase, two words, over used and worn thin. Kihyun tried to breathe life into them, ‘I’m sorry’ was marinated in his guilt, sorrow, and shame. “Minhyuk I am so sincerely sorry. I’ve been careless with our friendship. All of my friendships. You’ve suffered because of me. Please excuse my negligence, I regret everything that happened that day. On your day. I’m not even sure I said happy birthday.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"><em><span class="s2">“You didn’t.” </span></em> <span class="s1">Minhyuk cut in. Right into Kihyun’s heart.</span></p>
<p class="p2">“I didn’t...” Disbelief coated in shame laced those words. “Your frustration, your... anger. Your disappointment. I’m a disappointment.”</p>
<p class="p2"><em><span class="s1">“</span><span class="s2">You’re right</span></em><span class="s1"><em>.”</em> Kihyun closed his eyes and braced himself for what was to follow. </span> <em><span class="s2">“I’m frustrated. I’m disappointed. But I’m not angry. I was. I was extremely angry. When I saw you I wanted to rip you apart. But I’ve thought and thought. I’ve replayed that night in my head over and over. It occurred to me... why were you crying? You’re a very proud man Kihyun you don’t crumble in public. You were crying before you saw me. Your eyes were puffy, face flushed red. Hyungwon gave you my gift. You were most definitely going to come. So what happened. If you lie to me the way you do Changkyun you can mail me the present and forget my very existence.” </span></em> <span class="s1">It was an empty threat Minhyuk could never abandon Kihyun. </span> <em><span class="s2">“After all we’ve gotten each other through. Judgments thrown to the flames. You, Yoo Kihyun better not lie to me.”</span></em></p>
<p class="p2">He was caught off guard which seemed to be the trend this past week. “I was crying... I was crying because I was sad I wouldn’t get to see you.” It’s not a complete lie, it’s not a full truth.</p>
<p class="p2">
  <em>
    <span class="s2">“Try again.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p class="p2">Silence laid out between them.</p>
<p class="p1"><span class="s1">“Ji Hyun. She made plans she hadn’t told me about... that day. I... I didn’t fight her on it. I pushed you aside and let her take precedence.”</span> <span class="s1">He said it. Not to the extent that it was, but half the battle is admitting things verbally. </span></p>
<p class="p2"><span class="s1">Minhyuk lost the edge of hostility in his voice. </span> <em><span class="s2">“The tears?”</span></em></p>
<p class="p2">“I already said. They’re from embarrassment, you weren’t wrong. They’re not just from one thing solely. It’s... it’s not a simple thing to explain.” More lies vailed in truth.</p>
<p class="p1"><em><span class="s2">“Sunday I’m free. We’re going to have breakfast together and then lunch and then dinner. You’re going to spend a whole day with me. There are things you’re not telling me. And I’m so frustrated I hadn’t seen it before. When the hell did you get so good at lying? You were shit at it back in school. Your poor excuses got us into trouble more than once.” </span></em> <span class="s1">His voice lightened the more he spoke.</span></p>
<p class="p2"><span class="s1">“I’m not good at lying. I’ve never been.” </span> <span class="s2">I’m good at hiding. </span> <span class="s1">“Sunday sounds good. But you’re always up late so how will we even get breakfast?”</span></p>
<p class="p2"><em><span class="s2">“Breakfast is the first meal of the day it’s not dependent on time!”</span></em> <span class="s1"> Minhyuk huffed dramatically, </span><em> <span class="s2">“I’ll call you once I’m up. I’m picking you up. I know the codes to your place you’re not getting away from this.” </span></em> <span class="s1">The heat was playful. Returning to their usual banter.</span></p>
<p class="p2">“Cross my heart. Sunday’s yours.” Kihyun went the whole nine yards making the motion and everything. </p>
<p class="p2">
  <em>
    <span class="s2">“Ki I love you. Don’t you dare forget that.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p class="p2">“I love you too Hyuk. I wouldn’t dare.”</p>
<p class="p2">“<em>Sunday</em>.”</p>
<p class="p2">“Sunday.”</p>
<p class="p2">Kihyun reflected over the conversation and doing so left him with a pleased smile. He sauntered into the kitchen, opening the fridge it occurred to him he hadn’t gone to the market it quite a while. Regardless he was hungry now so he opted for a protein shake, minimal ingredients, perfectly simple. As he blended everything together he scanned over his home. It's plain, cold, with a minimalist poor excuse for decor. It in no way looks lived in. Ji Hyun’s doing, over time she crafted his home into some picture perfect set for a home living magazine. So he plots his smoothie into a large cup and slumps onto his couch pulling his laptop onto his lap.</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">A handful of websites, many texts to Hyuk nagging for input and two orders placed. Kihyun has successfully replaced his dinning set! Coffee mugs, glasses, bowls, silverware and all shall now be more to his taste, not stark white. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1"><span class="s1">Minhyuk agreed to help him with furniture and decor on Sunday. </span> <span class="s2">‘Big decisions to be made’ </span> <span class="s1">he expressed.</span></p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It’d been a while since he’d had so much time to himself deciding what to watch on Netflix was more of a chore than it was a luxury so he opted for music and contemplation. Which was interrupted not long after it began by a highly unexpected visit. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Kihyun huffed as he stalked over to the door and swung it open.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Hyungwon?” His head tilted accompanied with the questioning lilt in his voice. “What are you..?”</span>
</p>
<p class="p2">“I’m here to beat some sense into you!” Hyungwon exclaimed as he pushed past the shorter male. Kihyun sighed as he shut the door.</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Would you like something to-“</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Water.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Ok.” He was in a mood. Kihyun supposed even if he were to say he’s worked things out with Minhyuk it’d be blatantly ignored. In addition he doesn’t see this as a bad stance to take, he’s been a shit friend. And in addition to all of this the lot of them are thicker than thieves; choice family. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He walks back to couch and hands Hyungwon his glass of water. Neither one of them are sitting so Kihyun being already shorter and in for a scolding takes the loss and sits.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Hyungwon sits. “Are we friends?”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Of all the things kihyun had prepared himself to hear fall from Hyungwons lips, was expecting to hear, this was not it. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“What?” Its breathless complete shock.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Are we friends?” He repeats and accentuates each word.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Why would you ask that?”</span>
</p>
<p class="p2">“I ask because I don’t know the answer.” Hyungwon stops talking to the room and looks directly at Kihyun. Who miraculously manages to maintain eye contact. “At any point in time previous to the past month and a half with out a doubt in my mind I would say to myself ‘shut up he’s going through shit, of course you’re friends’ but now I don’t know. So I’m asking.” He says for a third time, “Are we friends?”</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Kihyun and Hyungwon don’t get along but do. They bicker and nag and complain but at the end of all of that, they love one another and care for each other. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Kihyun hugs him. His answer clear, words unnecessary. They don’t hug often; their affections for each other are rare and often limited to a brief side hug thrown in amongst sweet yet slightly condescending words.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Hyungwon i’m sorry that for the first time ever I’ve made you doubt our friendship. And not just between the two of us but all of us. I’m going to be better.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Hyungwon says something, once again, Kihyun does not expect. “Don’t be better just be you.” There are many ways to look at the sentence... most can say it makes absolutely no sense, shouldn’t one better oneself? isn’t that just being ‘you’. Yet he understands recently he’s been any and everything but <em>himself</em>. Kihyun has lost his “<em>you</em>”. There is no “better” there’s just him. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2">Hyungwon stays for two hours they talk more for the first thirty minutes or so. Catch up on their lives. Hyungwon takes command of the television, puts on a show he thinks they’ll both enjoy. He notices when Kihyun’s eyes start to get heavy. Peripherally he sees when he’s begun to drift off. Soundlessly, he delicately removes glasses from a sleeping figure. And silently he leaves as Kihyun has fallen asleep.</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">And Hyungwon knows he’s safe. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p3">
  <span class="s3">Author note: Hi everyone. I want to make clear Minhyuk and Kihyun have been on edge with one another for a few months leading up to this story. Kihyun has been wearing himself thin trying to keep Ji Hyun pleased as well as his friends, not to mention balancing work in-between. The tension blew the day of Hyuk’s birthday (Tuesday), the following day (Wednesday) Ki ignores everyone but Changkyun and then Hyunwoo when he agrees to going to the gallery. This chapter picks up on Thursday, both Ki and Hyuk have had their time to think through what’s happened. And think they have, Minhyuk has come up with far more than Kihyun who is in denial. This conversation style is based on one I had with a very good friend of mine when we had gotten into a disagreement to which I will say I was unfortunately like Kihyun in denial of the situation. Additionally did you know statistically you fall asleep better faster next to someone you love! To me sleep is very vulnerable so I wanted to show Kihyun vulnerable around Hyungwon, who he does love hence he was able to sleep :D </span>
</p>
<p class="p3">
  <span class="s3">TIMELINE CH.1- Minhyuk BD (3 TUE) CH.2 Continuation of Minhyuk’s BD (3 TUE) then transitions to 4 WED Hyunwoo makes contact, ends on 5 THUR With phone call to MInhyuk.<br/>Chapter Three continues the phone call. Now that that’s all typed out I hope it makes more sense or just adds clarity haha, cause even I got a little confused. I will continue to make this as raw and authentic as I can, Thank you!</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span class="s1">— S.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span class="s1">ALSO IM SO SORRY THIS IS SOOOO LATE I GOT VERY BUSY next two chapters are already written out so we’ll be back on track. I need to figure out a update schedule... I think every other week will be best for me since I have an upcoming project. </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter Four</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Sunday comes quickly. With no news from Ji Hyun in between, to which Kihyun can only hope no news is good news. He makes way to his closet figuring now’s a good a time as any to begin getting ready. Minhyuk can be spontaneous in his planning so slight over sized clothing that can easily be dressed down or spiffed up is the obvious goto! Also he can just raid his friends closet.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Unwanted news comes in the from of a text.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Speak of the devil and quick she is to appear. He rolls his eyes.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <em>
    <span class="s1">‘Lunch with my parents.’</span>
  </em>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">A period where there should be a question mark.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> ‘*?’ A bit of a bold response. Regardless his answer is no, which will harbor his demise so Kihyun has no regret throwing the slight sass.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He continues getting ready for his day with Minhyuk, turning on ‘do not disturb’ her contact now un-favorited... nothing to be heard.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ji Hyun’s phone chimed. Lunch was soon and a candle seemed an appropriate gift for her parents.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Hello welcome to Flame Works. Is there anything in particular you’re looking for?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">”Yes, need something mature in scent, somewhere between seasons but leaning closer to winter. Nothing floral or sweet.”Ji Hyun didn’t spare the girl a glance and she dug into her bag searching for her phone. Soon the tips of her fingers made contact with the screen, her eyes flit over one simple mark of punctuation the implication of correcting her.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She was seething. “You little-“</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Birch Wood sentened candle.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"><br/>“What?” Voice sharp and short.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The young girl gulped repeating her statement kindly, nervously. “I would suggest our new B-Birch Wood scented candle.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Hate filled eyes flicked off the phone screen to the girl, Ji Hyun merely looked at the candle.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">With a chuckle she began,“It’s awful. Isn’t this you’re job? You asked what scent I was looking for and this is what you concluded?” Ji Hyun took her anger out on the young sales associate. “Just go.” Dismissing with her hand like you would a dog. “I’ll find something myself.” She spat venomously.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The girl gaped. Ji Hyun walked off grabbed a random candle paid at the register and left.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">After calling Hyuk twice and sending him a iMessage, dm on Instagram and @ing him on Twitter with no response Kihyun has relented to watching YouTube curled up on the couch. Watching cooking channels feed his hunger, but he promised: breakfast, lunch and dinner.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Almost an hour later he’s roused from sleep as he feels fingers brush through his hair. Frozen in fear is an understatement.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">As Kihyun tries his best to gather his wits, he hears the intruder laugh at whatever is still playing on the television: relief runs through his body like the blood in his veins. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Minhyuk you asshole.” Adrenaline whipping the sound of sleep from his voice.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Laughing continues, ”What? I did you a service, Sleeping Beauty.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Kihyun rolls his eyes and sits up. “I’m hungry. What time is it?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Me too. It’s half past 11.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Lunchtime.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Brunch time. Old man.” Minhyuk chirps. “Shall we dine in, out? Here or mine?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Dine out, then your place.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You always find the strangest places...” Assessing the cafe, it’s indeed odd. Brightly painted and a deco style neon sign.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“It’s a talent.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“It’s not.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Minhyuk looks at him completely  offended and pushes Kihyun into the cafe.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The menu is not what Kihyun expected but on the other hand he couldn’t say what it was he expected. He can however say for certain French cuisine was not it.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“So... what do you usually get?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Don’t know. I lied and took the credit Wonnie brought me here and he placed the order.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Do you remember what he ordered?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Something with crab.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Ok I’ll get that. What about you?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“He got me something with bread.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Min that’s like 80% of French cuisine....”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Panini. I’m getting the panini.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Ok based on the descriptions I’m getting the...” his eyes scanned the menu board and landed on a very obvious title. “Crab cakes. So French.” He sasses.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I thought paninis were Italian.” Minhyuk shrugs and steps up to place their order.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"><br/>“Tell me you liked it!” Minhyuk says again as the leave.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I already said I did!!” Kihyun laughed and the smile that lingers reaches his eyes, “Thank you hyuk.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Always and forever Kiki.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The two forgo lunch and spend the rest of their afternoon at Minhyuk’s.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Activities varying from video game rivalry to crying over movies that carry them late into the night before they realize the hunger gnawing away at their bellies.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I’m hungry.” They say in absolute unison.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“It’s pretty late~” Minhyuk checks the time.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Kihyun hums.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Chinese?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Sure, drive to China town.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yeah let’s. Are you staying over?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He hadn’t thought about it, their day together progressed pleasantly he’d forgotten about home. “I’ll stay. You have to come over tomorrow though and help me pick out furniture.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“A promise is a promise.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The drive was fast for a New York road. Food still warm by the time they got back to the apartment. Minhyuk set the table while Kihyun plated the food. And being ever cautious reheated it anyways.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Are you going to Hyungwon’s welcome home party?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“When is it? He came by the other day but didn’t mention anything.” Kihyun served the two of them.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Hyuk popped the caps on two bottles of beer, passing the second to the shorter, “Wednesday.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“It’s on Wednesday?” Kihyun wrapped both hands around the bottle. He worried his lip. “What time?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“It’s at Hoseok’s, around 7ish. Subject to change I would say. Given how the two of them can be.” Minhyuk took a bite.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I sorta have a thing.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Minhyuk gave a look.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Honest Hyuk! Hyunwoo he’s a friend of Jooheon’s, he invited me to the MET apparently he works there.” Saying his name reminds Kihyun he should message him. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Oh Hyunwoo.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You’ve met?“ </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“He filled in for you at my party.” It was said plainly, as merely information to further the conversation, but it still made Kihyun squirm with discomfort.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Kihyun’s mouth simply formed a noiseless ‘Oh’</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yes he’s also a friend of Hoseok’s. He’s invited as well so you can just come together.” Minhyuk proceeded with a slight jab in the form of a jest. “Well look at that you’ll finally have a plus one.” He winked.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ji Hyun never went with Kihyun to his friends’ gatherings. It was not that she’d never been invited she just simply showed no interest and always ‘politely declined’.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Kihyun laughed sadly. It hurt.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He wanted Ji Hyun to belong with them.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“How is she anyway. Min Ji Hyun?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Good. I haven’t heard from her since this morning.” </span>
  <em>
    <span class="s2">And I’ve purposefully not tried to since.</span>
  </em>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Kihyun.” Minhyuk’s eyes made eye contact with Kihyun’s. “Does she make you happy?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yes.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Minhyuk didn’t say anything. He didn’t need to. The look on his face said it all. Plain as day. The dreadful four letter word.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Pity.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">”Don’t make that face.” Kihyun picked at his food.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">”I’m not making a face.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">”You are. It’s the pity face.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">”it’s not pity Ki. It’s worry. It’s my ‘I’m worried about my best friend because he’s an idiot’ face.” Minhyuk softens. “She’s you’re first serious relationship... practically IS your first relationship period and she seems to have a very important role in your life, yet... we never see her. We never hear much about her and when we do you’re not really you.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“This what ever this is, is a phase. We’ve been together for a good amount of time. I love her. I’m happy Hyuk. Trust me.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">”I trust you.” </span>
  <em>
    <span class="s2">It’s her I don’t trust.</span>
  </em>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I’ll put away the food and clean the table if you do dishes!” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You’re such a girl Kihyun. Worrying about your nails.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">”Shut up!” Already acquainted with Minhyuk’s residence he navigates the space packing up the leftovers and gathers the table cleaner. He hands over the last of the dishes to Hyuk.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Kihyun’s phone chimes.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Whos that? Your girlfriend~?” He sing-songs. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“No you idiot, it’s Hyunwoo. He’s making sure we’re still on for Wednesday.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Tell him being so eager is unattractive.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Minhyuk stop.” Kihyun opens his phone swiping to the text. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Also if he tries anything I’ll kill him.” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Hyuk! It’s not a date.” He laughes. Shaking his head to his friends antics.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">‘Wednesday’s still good :)))’ </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <em>
    <span class="s2">‘Ah great. I look forward to meeting you, it’ll be nice to put a face to the name.’</span>
  </em>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Kihyun blushed. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Minhyuk narrowed his eyes and filed this information to be reanalyzed at a later date. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">‘Likewise.’</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <em>
    <span class="s2">‘Text you Wednesday. Sleep well Kihyun :)’</span>
  </em>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">‘Ah yes.Sleep well also Hyunwoo :))’</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Tell him it’s inappropriate to message you so late. Gives the impression of ill intentions.” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Will you shut up!” Kihyun smacks his shoulder, smiling. “I’m going to raid your closet for pajamas.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Knock yourself out. But literally; cause you’re cuter when you’re asleep.” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Kihyun smacks him again. “You’re not getting your gifts anymore!” Minhyuk rolled his eyes, he flicks water at Kihyun’s face. Kihyun runs to exit the kitchen but stops to ask, “Hyuk do you still have my toothbrush here?” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yup. It’s the orange one!”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Cool~!”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Also can I borrow-“</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yes, face wash and all that is in the cabinet above the sink.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Minhyuk joined Kihyun in the bathroom and began his nightly skin care routine. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The two moved around one another with a practiced ease. Being cramped into a one room dorm will do that, they were roommates for two years in college, and had met a year prior.<br/><br/></span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Kihyun had met Hyungwon his first year at NYU, in the school’s library. He knew no one and in an embarrassing moment of needing a book from the top shelf Hyungwon reached over him retrieving it.A 90° bow and exclamation of gratitude, they switched to their mother tongue. Elated to meet a fellow Korean, Hyungwon unlike Kihyun has his family living in the states. </span>
</p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">Not long after Minhyuk came into the equation; their meeting had been coincidence and at the time neither one knew the other was Korean, it wasn’t until Hyungwon walked up to Kihyun asking something (in Korean) no longer of importance. That Minhyuk’s face lit up and the rest can be left for obvious interpretation. All three went out for dim sum that night, they were the start of the friend group. Eventually Changkyunjoined and he brought with him Jooheon. </span><span class="s1">After graduation Hyungwon met Hoseok through work. </span><span class="s1">They’ve all been together for years. </span>They all hope to be together for longer.</p><p class="p2"><br/>Kihyun curled up in bed with Minhyuk who was on his phone, “I’m tired.”</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Then sleep.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I can’t you’re light is on.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Oh whatever it’s not that bright. What’s really going on?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Mm... I’ve been dating Ji Hyun for three years, seriously closer to two. I love her Hyuk. I don’t want to lose her, but I can’t seem to bridge the gap between her and the rest of us.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You mean our friends?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The shuffle of sheets as kihyun turned to face minhyuk a mumbled ‘yes’ slips past his lips, “You all are more than just my friends though. You’re my family, I love all of you.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You love me most though.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I’m being serious,” he giggled “yes I love you most. I just... don’t know what to do exactly. She doesn’t have much of an interest in going out with me to be with you all. I’ve tried.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <em>
    <span class="s2">More like absolutely NO interest. </span>
  </em>
  <span class="s1">Minhyuk sighed. “Do you...” he tried to get these words out and more than anything he hoped to hear the answer he feared he wouldn’t, “do you want to spend the rest of your life with her?” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Kihyun was silent in thought</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Minhyuk continues, “Would you ever marry her? Have you given that thought?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yes” Hearing this Minhyuk feels his heart stop, Kihyun nibbles his lower lip, “I’ve given it thought and my thoughts go all over, left right, up down, u-turns, figure-eights all of it. I would marry her... I think it’s just she’s... I don’t know.” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I think you do know.” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yeah maybe I do.” He yawns, the deep thought making him feel tired. “Goodnight Hyuk.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Goodnight Ki.”</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
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